As I walked to my pop up store this morning, an old friend passed by and stopped me: "I just want you to know I love your newsletters. They are so full of joy and hope... don’t stop sharing."
It’s not the first time I receive these compliments, but somehow I was in a reflective state of mind and confessed that sometimes I feel I might rub some people off and still question whether my stories are worthy and well received. Revealing only the positive might insinuate my life is perfect and I definitely don't want to convey that message.
I rarely talk about my insecurities, about my fears of failing, of possibly wasting my life in pursuit of something that in the end might feel relatively insignificant in the grand scheme of life.
I opened this second pop up assuming it would be as tremendous of a success as the first one. Boy, was I wrong! And what an emotional rollercoaster it has been!
Thankfully, with the support of my daughters and of course David, I rationalize that there are external factors outside of my control impacting the success of the store. But as a designer, and I can't help but feel that the store's failure is reflective of my failure as an artist.
So, I was deflated this morning walking to the store, questioning... What am I even doing here? Am I wasting my life? What will be my legacy? Is this all worth it? But then a kind soul stopped me. She didn't have to. She could have just kept her thoughts to herself. But thankfully she did, to tell me my newsletters make her smile. And that is me touching someone, bringing joy, one person at a time.
That was all I needed to turn the lights on and open shop for another day.
So dear friends, just know...it’s not always rosy chez ZADEH. But we shall chug along until someone says: "Enough already!"